Bullies are still a real factor in the workplace and FutureSYNC International’s consultants are uniquely qualified to verify that bullies continue to operate in the organizational and corporate world. We coach staff members, managers and executives about this topic regularly! So how do you professionally and effectively combat a bully? You do it by knowing and stating the TRUTH.
Bullies operate using deception, misinformation and power plays. Their currency is not in speaking the TRUTH! They are often very skilled at their work, so are able to have some influence over others initially – but once closer attention is paid, it is typically revealed that their focus is on their own performance and not their team’s desired outcomes.
Remember that most bullying situations are much more complex than what is observed at first blush. Consider:
- New employees are often targets for workplace bullies because they don’t know all of the protocol or processes yet and easily succumb to the influence of someone who seems to know the systems.
- Many employees truly need their job and their paycheck just to make ends meet and do not want to rock the boat or be confrontational in any way.
- Sometimes bullies are the people in charge or at the very least, have influence over the people in charge, so they may hold some sway over the employee’s success in the job.
- Most adults are taken by surprise when a bully is on the attack, and often don’t know how to respond in real time. Professional people truly don’t expect aggressive and unreasonable behavior from other adults.
- Most bullies have been using these tactics for many years and have enjoyed some levels of success with them. They become very good at reading others’ insecurities and playing on them. In other words, they are good at getting their co-workers to question themselves.
Here are five tips that FutureSYNC proposes to combat a workplace bully:
- Recognize a bully more quickly by identifying their patterns including: Withholding workaday information, consistently providing misinformation or behaving inconsistently, questioning and examining their co-workers’ habits more than their own.
- Acknowledge that you will never please or get affirmations from a bully. They will even contradict themselves in order to ensure that whatever you do, it is definitely the wrong decision or an incompetent way of operating.
- Begin to actually expect these poor behaviors from a bully and start working with other people to learn the systems at your workplace. When the bully lobs something at you, simply laugh about it to yourself; awareness is a freeing thing and will neutralize their power.
- When addressing a bully, use TRUTH sentences. “The truth is that we all need access to that form so that we can serve our customers well. Should we go speak to our supervisor together about accessing the form?”
- Know the TRUTH about yourself. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, so don’t let your insecurities become the fuel for a bullies fire. Before heading in to a workday with a bully, speak TRUTH statements to yourself about who you are as a professional and acknowledge your many strengths.
If the bully is your boss, you may have to decide that “today is the day that I am going to be fired for speaking the TRUTH” and be okay with that. If you do it graciously and professionally, you may be surprised at the outcome! To receive workplace coaching on this topic or others, contact our FutureSYNC International consultants at 406-254-2326.